sad

My heart, my heart, my aching heart.
This wasn’t my intention. This hurts.

I never wanted to not be an individual. I always want to be myself.
I just also have wanted to be with you. Together, individual, with you.

Cooperation, not compromise. Why couldn’t we figure it out?
This is the saddest thing to me. Because I know you can be what I need. And I feel like I can be for you.

snowy days with Scrabble...
sitting in the sun (even having "discussions")...
laughing until we fall asleep (remember singing "Brick House"? So random and fun)...
lying in an empty cul-de-sac on quilts, watching meteors...
making spaghetti...
sharing the chair & a half...
being cozy...
talking about trips to take...
watching you at work (yes, seeing you shake hands and build connections was meaningful to me)...

I'm ok. I'm ok. I just am not happy about this.
Is it because I didn't get what I wanted? Sure.
Because I wanted you.